The star and the discerning heart (Happy Christmas!)

I know that my blogging has gone beyond sporadic to rare. For much of this year I shut down my blog. I feel I still haven't given the explanation you deserve as to why this was. Suffice to say I have been experiencing the most considerable period of discernment of my life. I do want to share more but I feel I need more time to reflect upon how to share it. Equally, I am not at the end of this period at the moment. Perhaps I never will be.

Christmas is a good time to consider the journey one is making in life and faith. It is the rhythm of returning to the crib and looking back on the path one has taken there. In looking at Mary and Joseph one cannot help but feel humbled in faith. How great was the journey they made in faith and grace on all levels? How much they must have both wandered and wondered amidst the will of God. Yet we gaze upon them in a static scene, just a snapshot of a real life of movement, of fleeing of sorrow and protection on the road of life. How great their journey and how great its capacity to keep me on mine. We cannot always see the road ahead but in trying to hold onto the goodness of faith, even in our weakness and doubt, the way ahead will always be lit; illuminated before us. We cannot know the shape ahead of us but we can know that there is light.

I wish you all a peaceful and holy Christmas. I assure you of my prayers and my thanks for all that fellow bloggers write.

In the love of Christ.

BEHOLDING AND LOOKING BACK

Sometimes you can carry something with you for a long time without really understanding it. I suppose that has been my experience in the long break I have had from writing on this blog. I have been entering a different phase of life. Perhaps if anybody is still reading this then I might, in time, talk about this journey in more detail.

In some ways it has been a retreat into examining a more interior life of the spirit in which I felt there was little room for me to comment on anything. I just needed to be still and listen. I just needed to be led. Of course I still need these things in hope and prayer but perhaps I feel that it is possible for me to return to the keyboard again. To come down from the mountain.

A word has been with me all summer. BEHOLD. I don't know why or whether it relates to anything specific. Yet I felt it, held it, in Lourdes and Madrid, when in the presence of those I love. In many ways perhaps that is all we need to do sometimes. We can search so hard for things that we forget to behold what is on front of us. Sometimes that will be obviously profound and extraordinary like the grotto at Lourdes or Pope Benedict. Sometimes it will simply be the face of another person, someone who you are so glad that God loved into existence. At the centre of it all is the host, as it rises from the altar because all of this life is contained within this moment. Equally all vocation is contained within that body. BEHOLD. The bridegroom. Just seek to look at the Lord who is always looking back at you and in doing so the heart of your relationship grows stronger and you can begin to respond.

Peace be with you.

WORLD YOUTH DAY

The spirit and life in Madrid remains with me. Our Church is alive and its heartbeat is joy. No matter what the press may report, it is not possible to deny the love that flowed through the streets for those few days. I hold a deep sense of gratitude for the city of Madrid for allowing the love of Christ, love of Benedict and love for one another to be so present.

Opening Up

Dear All,

It has been a very long time since I have written anything on my faithful blog. I felt I needed a break during a particular period of discernment in my life and I hope you will forgive the silence. Much has happened but I have kept you in my prayers. I think I have lost a few followers along the way but perhaps they might pop back in to say hello now I have reopened for business. I don't think I will be posting as frequently I used to but I hope to at least open former posts for viewing.

I am due to return to Lourdes in a week and a half and anyone who was used to following this blog will know that this is the favourite place of my thirsting soul and longing heart. Perhaps I can let you know how it goes. Be assured of prayers in the month of the sacred heart.

I'M JUST TAKING A SHORT BREAK FROM BLOG WRITING

BEAR WITH ME. I'M JUST ON A BREAK. GOD BLESS. SQUELLY

Hanging out with Keats

I have always had a soft spot for the poetry of John Keats and some of his letters. His life was a short one and certainly not one in which he came to a definite decision about a belief in God. However, some wisdom did certainly filter through his sensitive soul. I was just reading andI liked it and wanted to share:

"Do you not see how necessary a world of pain and troubles is to school the intelligence and make it a soul?"

In a way I think this is true. Any suffering is certainly an evil but, in our case, through the hope offered by the ultimate suffering we find ourselves coming closer to truth and the truth of love. Dearest St. Bernadette and so many countless others knew this better than anybody.

Getting excited about the Pope in Britain!

I found out today that I have got one of the allotted tickets to see the Pope (I was on the reserve list before). Even though I've been off the blogging circuit (largely for reasons beyond my control) for a while now I know that word will have got round about the hostility of some of my fellow countrymen towards Benedict. However, of course what is not reported in the press is the swathes of people and indeed young people (Catholic and non-Catholic) who are curious, interested, excited and enthused about his visit. This is an important historical event for the country, something that goes someway to forging some healing of rifts that have existed in this country since the Reformation. Obviously, there are always those few who do not want rifts to be healed and because they are often deemed more interesting to listen to, they are often the few that get heard.

Over these last few months I have attended various events for twentysomethings in which nothing but delight was expressed about Benedict's visit. Some people have been afraid that showing support for Benedict may be looked at in such a negative light that they were worried about how to approach the topic at work. Vincent Nichols has been very good at buoyingspirits at events I have been to recently. The truth is, with all the controversy and the desire to cause controversy, at the end of the day peace is stronger and Benedict is full of peace. Perhaps all that those who look to cause rifts will cause, is a sense of a renewed strength and solidarity in those who want to show that peace is stronger.

Heart to heart.

A great witness to life

H/T APOSTOLATE OF THE LAITY

Happy Trinity Sunday!

Happy Holy Trinity Sunday! The great mysteries of our faith continue to astound me. I blundered into a confirmation mass last Sunday and it was one of great peace and beauty. It is easy to forget that the Holy Spirit is always moving, even if you can't see the fire quite as clearly as Peter- you can still feel it. I haven't had as much of a chance to blog as I would like in these couple of months and I have felt the loss of it. I have been trying to make some important decisions and listen very carefully to the Lord as I decide whether to take a year to teach in a community in need next year (September 2011) I have been teaching now for 5 years and I do love my job but I also want to give some more time to God and give a short time in service. I think this is probably the least that I can do for Him and I am well aware I will probably receive far more than I could ever give.

I have felt the need to be very still and reflect a little over the last few months. I feel providence is working through those I have met and although the press has been giving the Church a ritual battering for all sorts of things, it is important to remember that for all the ill there really are just some amazing people in our Church. I'm not talking about the lauded heroes or great saints - (though obviously we are proud and deeply in need of the communion of saints and our great martyrs) I'm just talking about the people we meet on the ground level who love God and see him in others. There is so much to be joyful about. Speaking of joys I haven't made to Lourdes this year, I will wait to see if the good Lady gives me the chance to go back. If not then I shall think back joyfully over the blessings I have had while there and be so very thankful for them.

On Trinity Sunday one realises that in every aspect of our God there is hope and a different way of communicating with us, his people. I am hopeful that we can listen.

Even when I go a little quiet always be assured of my prayers for all your intentions, especially today when we celebrate the greatness of our God and His sensitivity to all aspects of our being as well as all aspects of his.

Peace be with you!

The anniversary of St. Bernadette

Bernadette died at three o'clock in the afternoon on the first Wednesday after Easter. Sister Nathalie, a Sister of Charity of Nevers gives this account: "Toward three o'clock in the afternoon she seemed in the grip of inexpressible interior anguish. The sisters in the infirmary were alarmed and fetched holy water which they sprinkled over her while suggesting pious invocations to her. She took hold of her crucifix, contemplated it with love, then slowly kissed Christ's wounds, one by one."

In the hour of Christ's death Bernadette raised her arms in a cross and cried out "Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for me, poor sinner, poor sinner ..."

Bernadette had been told at the grotto many years before that she would not be happy in this world but in the other. She had taken this to heart and she never took it for granted. Her life was one of suffering and giving. Bernadette did not always find life easy but she gave herself completely to her vocation and gave up her beloved Lourdes. Her body remains a visible witness to faith in

Nevers.

Prayer to St. Bernadette

Bernadette, you have long sought the Lord where he called you to.

You asked. You listened. You trusted.

You were sure the Lord would guide you.

You surrendered yourself completely in the hands of God.

Like Mary you are confidant

Bernadette,

Inspire in me the same confidence, the same generosity and patience.

Lord, enlighten me on my path

And give me strength to say "yes"

when I hear your call.

Bernadette, you intensely desired the Eucharist,

You had done everything to receive communion

in the Body of Christ,

You loved to adore the Blessed Sacrament,

You united your life living in the offering,

that of Christ at the alter.

Like Mary, the Woman of the Eucharist

Bernadette,

Inspire in me the same hunger for the Eucharist, the food,

presence and sacrifice.

Lord, you have given us your Son,

the living and eternal Bread.

That the Eucharist transforms my life to be a

perpetual act of thanksgiving.

Bernadette, you always enjoyed serving others,

On 11th of February, the Virgin appeared to you when you

were fetching wood.

Among sisters, you learned to treat the sick and

residents of the hospice

Later, in Nevers, you were an excellent nurse,

offering an attentive and intelligent in charity.

Like Mary, who saw the family's needs, in Cana.

Bernadette,

Inspire in me the same generosity and the same faith

to see that Christ is present in each one

Lord, you have given us brothers and sisters to love.

That our eyes, our hands and our hearts are open

to all those that you put in our way.

Bernadette, your faith has grown in the Church.

The Church, it was your family, your church,

your religious community.

Bravely, you went to tell the priests to hold a procession

and to build a chapel.

Once your mission was accomplished,

you retreated in silence and humility.

Like Mary, in this day of Pentecost and then silence.

Bernadette,

Inspire in me the same love of the Church:

I trust that it will support me in my prayer.

Lord, you give everyone a place in your Church.

Let me answer my vocation with the same simplicity

and the same generosity as Bernadette.

Amen!

(Copyright Service Creation- Sanctuaries Notre-Dame de Lourdes)

This time last year I was fortunate enough to be in Lourdes on this day and little mention was made of Bernadette there. Her humility and recognition that she was simply a courier of messages at Lourdes mean that she is rarely the focus there. This, I think, would have pleased her. She is, of course, of great importance to the place but you often have to seek her out if you really want to understand her. So many people do. For me, for countless millions of others whether Catholic or not Bernadette is a powerhouse of strength, love and faith at its best.

Pray for us St. Bernadette!